Change the “I can’t handles to have to have’s”

You know you best.   There are things in each of us that cause us to struggle with another, especially when you are married.  Money, decorating the house, where we choose to live,  and raising the children all bring strong opinions.  These views all come from who we are.   It is important to know what kind of person you fit with.  You know when something fits together great.  We are also aware when something does not go together naturally.

In relationships, your world view, both positive and negative, must fit with the other persons personality.  You must know what you can handle and not handle in a marriage.  This is subjective because we all have strengths and weaknesses.

When I was looking for a wife there was one thing I knew I could not live with; a wife who shopped to release stress.   I am very practical and in who I am I do not live in extravagance.  When I shop it is for necessity and I find the whole “spend the day at the mall” very tiring.   I knew my personality could not handle a wife who shopped extravagantly.  It would be very stressful on me and our marriage to come home to boxes of stuff.  Again this is a personality thing.  I appreciate those who have the talent of decorating and who love to give  gifts but for me I find this a hard thing.  I even struggle to give gifts to my wife  which is not my language of love.

Being aware of this I turned my “I can’ handle this” to a must have on my list.  The perfect person I was to marry had to be good with her money.  This was my positive point on my list.   Once I put this on my list it felt great.   It freed me from my fear of not being able to support a wife.  I knew the kind of girl I was looking for.   It became a positive on my list for a wife.  It complemented my weakness around money and my own insecurity.

We all have areas of weaknesses and strengths.   Look for a spouse who will turn your weaknesses to strengths!

Leave a Reply